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ATD: At The Doctor’s
BFF: Best Friend Farted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GTGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence Welk’s On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFL… CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing… And Can’t Get Up
SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where’s The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
LFCK : Looking For Car Keys

“Yes, Dad, what is it?”

“Don’t be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well,if something happens to me .Your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife.”

The first Winter Texan says to the other, “Sorry about that I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

The  second Winter Texan says, “That’s OK, This is a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.”

The first Winter Texan says, “Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?”

The second Winter Texan says: “Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big bust, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife looks like?”  To which the first old guy says, “Doesn ‘t matter, let’s look for yours.”

He phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?” He said “No,” but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.

Then the police dispatcher said “All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available.” The old guy said, “Okay.” He hung up the phone and counted to 30.

Then he phoned the police again. “Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now because I just shot them.” and he hung up.

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to old guy, “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”

The wise old man said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!”

Harlingen’s historic downtown has become known as The Antiques Capital of the Valley. Visitors shop for glassware, jewelry, vintage clothing, furniture, crafts and collectibles in dozens of unique shops and buildings restored to their 1930s–40s era splendor. Jackson Street is the site of many community festivals and events—Market Days on the first Saturday of each month and the annual Christmas Parade. 956/216-4910. www.myharlingen.us

Hurricane Info For South Padre island, TX 78597 and Deep South Texas.

On the most southern tip of Texas, along the shores of the Laguna Madre, dense patches of thorny brush rise among unique wind-blown clay dunes called “lomas.” In a region of Texas some call the last great habitat, thorn forest intermingles with freshwater wetlands, coastal prairies, mudflats and beaches. Here, the endangered ocelot silently hunts within the brushlands, white-tailed deer browse on a banquet of plants, Aplomado Falcons soar above the grasslands and nearly half of all the bird species found in the continental United States rest, feed, nest and or migrate.

via Laguna Atascosa National Wildlife Refuge.

In 1999, Sea Turtle, Inc moved from Ila’s backyard into it’s current location at 6617 Padre Blvd.

Originally this organization was formed to aid in the protection and recovery of the endangered Kemp’s ridley sea turtle. Our mission has now expanded into three parts:

• Rescue, rehabilitate, and release injured sea turtles

• Educate the public

• Assist with conservation efforts for all marine turtle species.

Sea Turtle, Inc is a non-profit organization (501-C3). The sole source of income is public donations which are used to achieve the three missions. Specifically, donations help with the upkeep of the sea turtles housed at the facility. This includes food, medications, heaters, filters, water and electricity. Donations are also used to support Sea Turtle, Inc.’s educational programs and sent around the world to fund alternative resource and conservation projects.

Sea Turtle, Inc. awards scholarships to University level biology students. Each summer we host an internship program for currently enrolled or recently graduated college students in the biological sciences. Donations help to fund both of these student opportunities.

via Sea Turtle, Inc. – protection of Kemp’s Ridley sea turtles.